“She’s Intimidating,” “She’d never want to be friends with ME!.” “I am way to boring to compare to Her!” “I bet she has tons of dates’” “Men must approach her ALL of the time!” “She would never go out with ME!” “Gee, it must be rough.” “I bet SHE’s never lobely on a Friday night.”
These are the absolutely rediculous things I hear from behind, through the grapevine or wherever else but of course never to my face. It makes me so angry. So hurt. Am I that shallow? Do people think I am that shallow? Do they even realize it is such an insult?
Meanwhile they enjoy their cliques, friends, play dates and luncheons. All the while…I sit at home…alone. I’m that girl. The one who doesnt get invited, the one hears about the fun the day after.
How am I supposed to make friends, to fit in? The days when my children are at their fathers, all I want is to have something that resembles a personal life, a sign that someone cares and want ME. Anyone.
I’m so sick of hearing the lame excuses. I am a person and I need friends, love, attention, a sense of belonging.
So, here I sit. Been in bed on a Friday night with no children since 7pm. Wishing and trying semi embarrassing techniques to make excuses to talk to the people I kinda know and make pathetic attempts to not invite myself to whatever they may be doing….to no avail.
