On the first date, tell them you follow Jesus and want the best for your life and relationships and that you plan on abstaining from sex until marriage…it works like a freakin’ charm!!!
The One That Got Away… December 26, 2008
That’s me! I should coin a term for it or something…it would describe the girl who goes for a guy possibly a little underdoggish and sees the potential! (go ahead…laugh)
Somehow the same pattern repeats and repeats and yet I don’t learn. I cannot tell you how many times I have been “the one that got away” in the end of so many relationships. I guess its what the Bible calls unequally yolked. I believe in someone and see the potential, they are excited at the new feeling of confidence I bring to their mediocre sense of self and life and we grow together. Except…there come that point. That point when they realize this is hard work and I don’t want this anymore…yes it is all for a good cause but…nah.
A few months/years whatever go by and I get my title…”the one that got away.” All of the sudden I was the best thing that ever happened to them and how they were so stupid to let me go…??!!! What??? Seriously…major copout.
So when is it going to be time to meet the person who does think I am worth it to make a sacrifice, to step up, to not have to let me go before they realize what they had?
Thank you for listening to my ramblings and rants. Just gotta get it out every now and then….I’m not even altogether sure it makes sense!
But She’s So Beautiful and Confident December 26, 2008
“She’s Intimidating,” “She’d never want to be friends with ME!.” “I am way to boring to compare to Her!” “I bet she has tons of dates’” “Men must approach her ALL of the time!” “She would never go out with ME!” “Gee, it must be rough.” “I bet SHE’s never lobely on a Friday night.”
These are the absolutely rediculous things I hear from behind, through the grapevine or wherever else but of course never to my face. It makes me so angry. So hurt. Am I that shallow? Do people think I am that shallow? Do they even realize it is such an insult?
Meanwhile they enjoy their cliques, friends, play dates and luncheons. All the while…I sit at home…alone. I’m that girl. The one who doesnt get invited, the one hears about the fun the day after.
How am I supposed to make friends, to fit in? The days when my children are at their fathers, all I want is to have something that resembles a personal life, a sign that someone cares and want ME. Anyone.
I’m so sick of hearing the lame excuses. I am a person and I need friends, love, attention, a sense of belonging.
So, here I sit. Been in bed on a Friday night with no children since 7pm. Wishing and trying semi embarrassing techniques to make excuses to talk to the people I kinda know and make pathetic attempts to not invite myself to whatever they may be doing….to no avail.
Merry Christmas? December 25, 2008
Today was hard. I’m not sure how to process my feelings so I am turning here. My family has fallen apart and I feel like I am trying to pick up the pieces and choke my way through the holidays…desperately trying to make it special and as happy as possible for them.
I want to enjoy the joy in their faces today but I feel lost in disappointment that I know they will soon face when they grow up and start putting the puzzle pieces together.
Not to mention the lonliness of being alone through the holidays when you are the type of person who loves giving and being a special part of anothers life. I know my patience and devotion to waiting for God’s plan will pay off but sometimes it just gets rough.
On the other hand, I am so grateful to my family. I am still living with my parents, the 3 of us in one room so we had a hilarious time trying to leave all of the proper Santa trademarks and gifts in the very bedroom they were sleeping! Mom and dad made sure I was taken care of by Santa too and had left some extra presents just for me. My stocking was full and so was my heart. My parents always protect me, always try to protect my feelings and my heart.
Our whole family came over…there are like 13 or 15 or some crazy number of us. We ate a ton and opened up one present at a time from beneathe the tree. It’s a slow but awesome tradition, ensuring each and every person gets a spotlight while its their turn.
Everyone went home for naps and then all reconveined at moms for a honey baked ham dinner. Another awesome tradition in our home. I am very blessed to be a member of this crazy family. The priorities are in line, maybe not perfect but pretty good to me. I look forward to the day to complete my little family and have someone by my side to soak all of this in. Until then, keep looking up, having faith and knowing it will be worth the wait.
Merry Christmas.
